Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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