I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
