Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
