spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize