I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
