Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize