I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
smell my finger.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
