I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I understand Curling. That high.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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