I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
