I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
