i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
