plz talk dirty to me
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Randomize
