remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
