he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize