We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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