I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize