we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
