Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
