I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
