Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
