if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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