I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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