my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
