I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
birth control should be required to get into college
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Congratulations! We have a period
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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