He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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