So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
