Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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