R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
