Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
