he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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