No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
