You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
