in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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