Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
