Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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