Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
