How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
