you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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