is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
