Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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