No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
