when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
