I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
