The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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