would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Randomize
