Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize