Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm too high and old for this...
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
