yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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