try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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