it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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