Just mADE A PArabola og urine
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
