3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
