Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize