You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
