She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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