a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
