mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
i think my cat just said my name.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize