not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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