I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Randomize
