i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
