Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
