I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
