"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
