Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You are the jesus of drinking
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
