The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
If its not for food we ain't going out.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize