apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I will pee on everything he values.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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