Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
