Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
