READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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