Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My vagina just clenched in fear
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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