return my video game
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
We're too hungover to prance.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
