I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
